Inside Out
by Summerray1
Summary: Set after Twilight. Edwards guilt after the James attack causes him to make a decision that will effect both him and Bella but she has a plan of her own.


Inside Out

I could feel it.

I could feel his intense gaze on the back of my head. I wanted to turn around so bad! I wanted to look straight into his never ending topaz eyes. I wanted to show him that he was wrong but if he was wrong then why didn't I feel right?

My head twitched to the side almost turning fully to gaze back at him. But I couldn't do that I couldn't give in that easily. I stared straight ahead again fighting the urge. I bowed my head and rested it on my hand allowing my hair to form a barrier. I was thankful that he couldn't hear my thoughts. It was the only time I had room to break free. How could he honestly think this was better for me? This was torture, this was emptiness, this wasn't a life. I was numb.

I stifled a yawn. I hadn't slept properly in days. Anybody with eyes could tell that. My eyes were blood shot my hair was limp. I was as pale and weak. I was lifeless. The one thing that could make me feel remotely human again was ironically the one thing that had kept his distance since the accident.

He promised.

He promised he would never leave me as long as I needed him. And although technically he hasn't broken his promise as here he still sat in the same class room he had since we met. To me he was gone.

I was jostled out of my thoughts by the sound of the bell. I grabbed my books heading for the door. I knew he could of passed me before I even had time to blink but instead as he had done for the past week. He waited for me to leave the room before even leaving his seat. As I reached the door all my will power vanished and what would seem like a quick glance to anyone else I raised my eyes to meet the topaz ones that I knew would be waiting. I saw the torture and the longing behind the gaze. He was killing himself as much as he was killing me. Didn't he see that? To him this was his punishment to me this was my death. I couldn't function without him he was the reason I was still breathing. I stressed this through my eyes trying to penetrate every thought into his mind. But he still held the same stone expression. I felt like I wanted to scream at him I wanted to fall to the floor in a hysterical mess but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything anymore.

Defeated my eyes left his and I turned to leave the now empty room. I walked to my locker dumping my books on the shelf then slamming it shut not caring that it sprang back open. I knew I had gym next, this evidently concluded my decision to walk through the doors of Forks High School heading straight to my truck. I couldn't bare to be so near to him yet so far at the same time. This was the only way I could at least keep sane for the time being. I dug the keys from by pocket opened the truck door then stepped in slamming it behind be. I revved the engine hearing my red truck roar to life. Reversing out of the space I was parked in a looked in my mirror to see him standing there beside his Volvo. With the same solemn expression I had witness not even 5 minutes before. I knew he would be there I knew everything about him. I knew him inside out. So as I put the gear stick into first and drove towards the exit I knew that Edward Cullen would be close behind.

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I parked my truck on Charlie's drive. Switched off the engine then jumped out heading straight for the door. Charlie would be at work now so i had no need to worry about him being home. I ran up the stairs two at a time till i reached my room and collapsed on the bed. Lying on my back looking up at the ceiling i felt the same feeling i had back in the class room. He was here. He was watching me. Even though i couldn't see him i knew him well enough to know that he had followed me. For a vampire Edward was so predictable to me. Not anyone else mind. But to me he was like reading my favourite book over and over again.

I sighed deeply then closed my eyes. There was no point pretending i was a sleep as he knew what a bad actor i was. I had to figure out a plan. I had to find away to make him see this wasn't the way things were meant to be. He was meant to be with me. Forever not just with me. Like he was now. Watching over me for my protection but an actual part of me. My other half, the somebody who makes me complete. But how could I do it? I already knew he wasn't strong enough to be away from me completely. But somehow he had managed to not say a word to me for a week now. The longest week of my life. A week since he had told me that we couldn't be together anymore. For my own sake.

How wrong he was. Poor Edward didn't realise he had made things worse. He had complicated things more than he ever should have. As now i was plotting. I was forming a plan in my head and it wasn't going to be pretty. Desperate times call for desperate measures as they say.

I opened my eyes to still see my empty room. I sat up on my bed and stayed still for a minute trying to gather my thoughts. First plan of action. Confuse him, make him think that I'm oblivious to him being here. I get up and walk over to my chest of draws and pull open the top one to reveal my underwear. I grab as many pairs as i could and dump them on my bed. I reach to the second and discard a couple of t-shirts on top of the forming pile. I stride to my closet and grab two pairs of jeans and head back to my bed. I pull out the suitcase from under it and start stuffing in the clothes.

He must be confused now. He must want to know what I'm doing. Where I'm going. So i continue to zip up the case then carry it out to the landing by the stairs. I return to my room and close the open window and then pick up the case and head down stairs. If this was for real i would of wrote Charlie a note but i figured that minor detail would give Edward more information than i wanted so i just head straight for my truck. i climbed in and reversed off the drive heading down the road not knowing where exactly i was going. I checked my rear view mirror and was shocked to see that the silver Volvo i thought would be following wasn't. I scrunched my brow in confusion and turned my eyes back to the road. When i suddenly saw a figure in the distance i knew who exactly it was. I slammed on the breaks and gripped the steering wheel turning my fingers white. Quicker than a blink of an eye Edward had seated himself beside me in the truck.

"keep driving" he instructed with a blank expression on his face.

I didn't mutter a word i just lifted my foot off the break and continued down the road. I didn't glance at him once. At the end of the road i turned left which lead to the forest and pulled up on the side. With the truck parked both of us sat still. My eyes ahead and his on me.

"Why are you here?" i asked without looking at him

I waited for his answer as the seconds ticked by but he was silent. Only then did i shift my gaze to the side to look at him. His eyes were black as the night and penetrating so furiously into me i thought i would catch fire. For the first time in a week Edward raised his hand and touched my arm. It felt as cold as i remembered. Bolts of electricity surged through my body which made my heart quicken. It all happened so fast i didn't have time to react. In an instant he was round my side of the truck with my door swung open and i was now thrown on his back. By the time i could think we were flying into the forest at a speed i have never felt before. He was running furiously deeper into the forest. When it felt like we were a good 4 miles in only then did he stop and place me gently on my feet.


End file.
